


Where did Jesse McCree's Dick Go?

by MTex



Category: overwatch
Genre: Comedy, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Mature Comedy, NSFW, Other, Sexting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 08:25:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14930703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MTex/pseuds/MTex
Summary: Okay, so... y'all probably don't even wanna know what's going on here, but... have it anyway.This all started when I got a new phone. I went on a Jesse McCree NSFW art saving spree. (You know, for reasons...)Well, one day I went to my picture gallery and was like "Hey, where did Jesse McCree's dick go?" Come to find out, my phone is so awesome that it puts such content in hidden albums, so that it doesn't mix in with my regular gallery. Which is pretty neat... especially considering that if I hand my phone to someone, they won't be able to see my Jesse McCree porn obsession. Lawl.I proceeded to message my friends on discord about losing Jesse's dick on my phone and they have insisted I make a fic involving such shenanigans. So... enjoy?





	Where did Jesse McCree's Dick Go?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ryxl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ryxl/gifts).



> (Gifted fic to Ryxl because she wanted me to write it so badly, haha).
> 
> To change up the story a bit and add more spice, I've decided to make Sombra my culprit. [Insert Evil Laughter] [Or not]
> 
> Who'd-a-thought the world's greatest hacker could lose dick pics? Shit happens, I reckon.

_Ping_

 

A message box popped up on Sombra’s open holographic screen, in the middle of her work. Instantly, a smile formed on her lips involuntarily as she saw who the message was from.

 

**El Idiota:** Hey Darlin.

 

Yeah, she added the dorky cowboy as “El Idiota” in her contacts. First reason being, _he was an idiot._ Second reason being, security purposes. No one could know they were communicating. ESPECIALLY Papi. “Senor DIE DIE DIE!”

 

_Yeaaaah, no._

 

She typed back a quick reply while chewing her lower lip to try to suppress her helpless romantic-like smile.

 

**Sombra:** Hola, querido.

 

“What are you smiling about?” Reaper growled from the couch he currently sat on, seemingly staring at the TV (that wasn’t on), with his arms folded across his chest.

 

“Ugh, nothing, Papi…” She groaned back.

 

Maybe he wasn’t staring at the TV. _Nosy pants…_

 

“Mmh.” He mumbled in an unconvinced tone beneath his mask.

 

Perhaps she should scamper off to find a more private space to text her boyfr… el idiota.

 

“Laters, Papi.” She swiped her hand, vanishing the screen away and hopped to her feet and skipped off to her private quarters.

 

_Ping_

 

Sombra plopped down on her super large, purple beanbag chair and swiped open her screens again.

 

**El Idiota:** How are ya?

**Sombra:** I’m okay. How are you?

**El Idiota:** I’m alright. Same ol’ me.

 

It seemed the conversation would end there. She sighed, unsure of what else to say. He must have guessed she had nothing else to say because a few minutes later he sent another message.

 

**El Idiota:** What are you up to?

**Sombra:** Just some work stuff :)

**El idiota:** Hey, how secure is this channel?

**Sombra:** I’m offended.

**El idiota:** Why?

**Sombra:** This is the most secure channel EVER. You think I wouldn’t protect our conversations?

**El Idiota:** I reckon I shoulda known better :P

**Sombra:** :)

**El Idiota:** Anyways… was wondering if ya wanted to maybe fool around a bit.

 

_Qué?_

 

She knew exactly the answer to her next question, but she still typed it anyway.

 

**Sombra:** What do you mean…

**El Idiota:** You know…

 

She could feel her cheeks become heated as a long lost familiar jolt of arousal began to pool below. She’d never seen Jesse McCree naked before. The closest she got was just his bare, sculpted chest from pictures she scrounged up of him on the beach with his friends.

 

_Of course, those pictures were instantly saved to her personal hard drive._

 

**Sombra:** Sure, how do you wanna do it?

 

She bit her lip again as she waited for a response. Her heart was beating so hard!

 

A picture message came through seconds later.

 

_Squeak!_

 

A very unattractive squeal escaped her mouth before she had the chance to slap her hand over it.

 

Luckily, this was just texting and he couldn’t hear her.

 

_OH MI DIOS!!!_

 

He sent her a picture of his dick. His large hand gripped his wide, veiny girth at the base. It was completely erect, and SO BIG! Instantly, she craved to feel him inside her. _If only._

 

**El Idiota:** What ya think, darlin?

**Sombra:**...I’m wet.

**El Idiota:** I’d love to feel your wet pussy.

 

_SO DIRTY!_

 

Her heart pounded harder. She wasn’t sure if she should send him a picture or not. She knew that’s what he wanted, but… she wasn’t entirely sure she was comfortable taking pictures of herself like that…

 

_Boobs._ She thought. _Let’s start with boobs._

 

She got up from her beanbag and quickly scurried over to her door to double check it was locked, then went to her bedside table to grab her phone where she could route into the same channel she was using on her program. Taking a deep breath, she pulled up her shirt with one hand, purple bra still on, she used her free hand to snap a picture of her cleavage. The angle catching her from her shoulders down to her waistline.  
  
Reviewing the picture before sending, she felt a little self conscious of the small pudge of her tummy that showed in the picture. Would he find her unattractive?

 

After hesitating a few times, she quickly hit the send button before she had any regrets.

 

**El Idiota:** Fuck, you’re so beautiful! I wanna see your pretty smile. Please, baby.

 

Sombra’s cheeks became more heated at his comments. Okay, she can do this.

She completely removed her top now, as well as her bra. She then laid on her stomach on top of the bed and smiled into the front camera of the phone.  
  
Her hair was brushed to one side, her shaved head showing on the other. Her smile was a bit shy, but good enough. Her naked cleavage was pressed against the black sheets of her unmade bed.

 

Another deep breath. Send.

 

**El Idiota:** DAMN!  
**El Idiota:** You’re making me so hard.

 

_Wasn’t he already hard?_

 

She didn’t have much experience with… sex. Was it possible for a man to get more hard? Regardless, the thought of making him aroused pleased her. This was easier than she thought it would be.

 

Another picture came through.

 

_EEEEEEP!_

 

It was his dick again, but this time he DID look thicker. His hand was now positioned near the top of his shaft, his thumb pressed against the thick, blood filled head, spreading a small bead of wetness.

 

The pool of arousal got stronger within herself. She couldn’t resist the desire to want to touch herself. She stared at the picture a bit longer, soaking in all the details of his godly sculpted manlihood. The veins rippled beautifully beneath the skin just below his hand, disappearing into his curly, chestnut brown hair covered ballsack. Hair also curled just above his shaft, all the way up to his belly button. A perfect V shaped his lower abdomen. She could almost see his six pack beneath his strong arm.

 

If dreams could come true, this would be it!

 

She turned and laid on her back and slid down her leggings and panties, kicking them off the rest of the way to the floor and hesitantly began to slowly finger herself over her sensitive bundle of nerves. A quiet moan escaped her as she closed her eyes and thought of him. The image of him still freshly imprinted inside her mind. Her nipples perked up in response as her arousal spread throughout the rest of her body. Raising her phone above her head, she did her best to snap a picture of her whole body.

 

The picture showed her dark, perky breasts, as well as her hand that she was still fingering herself with. She did her best to make a “sexy” face, but most likely failed.

 

Send.

 

**El Idiota:** Oh, fuck yes! Rub that wet pussy for me, baby.  
**El Idiota:** I’m so close…

 

_Dios!_ He was so dirty!!

 

Doing her best, she tried to text back with one hand.

  
  
**Sombra:** I wish you were here…

**El Idiota:** Me too, darlin. I’d make you cum so hard for me.

 

_JESUS FUCKING CHRIST._

 

Another picture came through.

 

He had finished. White, sticky cum coated his stomach, his hand, and drizzled down his shaft from his head.

 

Her bundle of nerves seemed to spasm in response. She continued to rub herself until she felt the delicious pulsating sensation as she climaxed. She breathed heavily, smiling like an idiot to herself.

 

She wouldn’t take a picture of that. THIS, she didn’t have enough courage for, but… she hoped a text would be enough.

 

**Sombra:** I just came.

**El Idiota:** Mmm, such a good girl.

 

_WHY DOES HE HAVE TO SAY SUCH THINGS?_

 

**Sombra:** Shut up :P

**El Idiota:** Haha! As you wish, baby girl.

**Sombra:** No, not like that…

**El Idiota:** I know, darlin.

**Sombra:** :)  
  
**El Idiota:** Thanks for a good time. I need to go hit the showers, though. I’ll text ya later.

**Sombra:** Me too. TTYL

 

Greedily, Sombra scrolled through all the pictures he’d sent and quickly saved them to her phone for now, then she wiped all the messages, just to be safe. She’d transfer the pictures to her private hard drive later.

 

After her shower, she decided the picture backing up could wait. She was exhausted and decided to crawl in bed. Soon she was off to sleep having sweet (wet) dreams of a certain cowboy.

 

-

 

_Knock, knock, knock._

 

A heavy fist pounded the outside of her door.

 

“Sombra! Get up. We have a mission!” Reaper’s voice threatened through the frame.

 

“Mmmmhh.” She groaned into her pillow.

 

“NOW!”

 

“Okay, okay. Don’t get your wraith in a twist.”

 

She got up and got ready to go.

 

Reaper was in a mood today. Not his typical “I hate everyone” mood. It was like he jumped on some sort of menstrual cycle and was ready to kill the entire universe.

 

_Wonder what got into him…_

 

Best not to ask.

 

_Ping_

 

**El Idiota:** Mornin.  
  


Sombra smiled helplessly, as she opened the message from where she sat in the dropship that was transporting her and the Talon squad to their mission.

 

“What are you always smiling about?” Reaper sounded annoyed.

 

“Does my happiness bother you, senor angry owl?”

 

“No. I just know you’re up to no good!”

 

Sigh.

 

Sombra quickly typed back a message to Jesse.

 

**Sombra:** Buenos días. On a mission, can’t talk. Reaper is already in a bad mood. Sorry. I’ll message you later.

 

**El Idiota:** What’s his deal? I wish you wouldn’t work with him…

 

**Sombra:** I’m sorry you feel that way… but he is my Papi. Despite his bad moods, he is good to me.

 

**El Idiota:** He better be. If he ever hurts you, I’ll kill him.

 

Sombra shook her head and closed her screens. Jesse still didn’t know that Reaper was his old commander, Gabriel Reyes. She wasn’t sure she’d ever be able to tell him, either...

 

“So what if I am? None of it concerns you.” She responded back to Reaper.

 

“ _Everything_ you do, concerns me.”

 

“Whatever.”

 

“Lose your tone, hija!”

 

“How about you lose yours! Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed or something?”

 

Reaper balled his clawed, gloved hands into fists. Sombra folded her arms across her chest in response. If they had to have a stare down the rest of the ride, then so be it.

 

“You’re doing something behind my back, I can feel it.” He slithered, angrily.

 

“You’re just paranoid.” She assured.

 

“Don’t lie to me!”

 

“Ugh.” Widowmaker expressed her small annoyance from the corner of the ship. “You both are giving me a headache.”

 

Sombra decided to remain silent and ignore Papi’s current mood swing.

 

Once the ship landed, Sombra began to walk off the ship.

 

“Stick to the mission!” Reaper commanded her before she was able to step off.

 

“Where’s the fun in that?” She giggled sticking her tongue out at him before going into stealth and running off to her instructed area. She could almost hear Papi growling in response. The thought made her giggle more.

 

Something about getting under Reaper’s skin thrilled her. She needed to be more careful, though. He was getting really upset over her secret messaging. And if he found out she was messaging Jesse McCree, he would get REALLY angry. Papi basically hated everyone he used to work with at Overwatch. He wanted them all dead… She hoped some day she could change his mind. She knows that deep down, Gabriel Reyes is still in there somewhere and if he hurts his friends, who were practically his family, he will regret it. Deeply.

 

-

 

Later after the mission, they returned back to their quarters and Sombra made a beeline for her room. For now, she needed to avoid Papi before he asked more questions.

 

First things first. Backing up _the_ _pictures_.

 

She retrieved her phone and opened her photo gallery that was filled with various photos of nature outside, random dogs at the beach, computer parts, a taco dinner she had a few nights ago…

 

_Wait a minute._

 

Where did Jesse McCree’s dick go?

 

Panicked, she began to thumb through all her pictures.

 

_WHERE ARE THEY?_

 

She could SWEAR she saved them!

 

After a moment, she realized there were other album sections she could select.

 

Lo and behold!

 

Somehow, her phone categorized the saved dick pics in a private album off to the side?

 

_Cool? But… weird. Very weird._

 

Yeah, it’s best to get these off the phone and onto her personal hard drive.

 

As she did the transfer, she laughed to herself. Just the thought of losing Jesse’s dick had her on a giggle fit.

 

**Sombra:** So, I lost your dick today.

**El Idiota:** beg pardon?

**Sombra:** Lol. I saved your pictures last night, but then I thought I lost them. So, I lost your dick today.

**El Idiota:** Haha! That would had been tragic :P

**Sombra:** I know right! You kinda need that.

**El Idiota:** Sure do! Haha! I can’t stop laughing. You crack me up.

**Sombra:** I love you.

**El Idiota:** Love ya too, darlin  <3

**Author's Note:**

> "Senor Angry Owl" is a quote taken by Ryxl. I just love the nickname so much, I had to use it. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Hope it brightens your day and makes you laugh! 
> 
> XoXo
> 
> ~Manda


End file.
